But I Looked Back
by ErinNovelist
Summary: In the final moments of Atem leaving, he realizes that he can never return. So he does what no other spirit did. He looked back. Now, five years later, Yugi reminsces on the times they once shared. But most importantly, the strongest memory he has.


There had to be some form of comfort to come to me as I gazed forward into that blinding light, the Spirit Realm - the After Life - my Eternal Resting Place. I mean, I had survived the past four years of my life with flying colors; overpowering all of the hardships and times of suffering that had been bestowed upon me. But my mind was frozen in time. This was it – I was never going to see them again.

All I could do was let my mind race behind, back to reality, moments before, as I gazed into the same blinding light as the golden box opened, revealing the Monster Reborn card Yugi Moto had sealed away in there. All I knew was that, since I played that exact card to bring back Slifer the Sky Dragon, Slifer returned back to the graveyard for Monster Reborn had been... negated.

"So this duel is still on!" Yugi cried out as I only gazed in awe at the Monster Reborn card.

All I could think, all I could ask was how in the world that Yugi had known I was too play that card - of all cards? But then Tristan's exact words silenced all my wondering questions - "He's the King of Games, what did you expect?"

I turned my full attention back on Yugi; he merely gazed at me with those shining, amethyst eyes much like my own. But what I saw made me even more confused. I caught a glimmer of determination and courage flash through them. Of all those time I had claimed that my young Light was so courageous, so very determined and loyal to all. Of all the so many times that I had seen him act with that pure heart and innocent mind - proving all those claims of mine, I never once so them so was all an entire new concept to me. Yugi had acted on his own accord, won the duel of his own accord, and sealed my fate on his own accord. Of all those times I had seen him fulfill my claims of his courage, I had been with him. But now I stared at him with new eyes - ones that were looking at a whole, not a half of me. It now occurred to me that Yugi was ready to complete life on his own.

With me out of the picture.

"He must have had this planned from the beginning. I guess, after spending so much time with the Pharaoh, Yugi knew exactly what he would play," Tea spoke to all who listened.

_This was the greatest duel of my life. It has been an honor, Yugi. _I thought as my violet eyes closed as I realized the end was near.

"Go on, your move," I stated in my deep voice as I glanced up at Yugi.

I saw him trembling from head to toe, obviously fighting the urge to forfeit the duel. I knew, he had been so focused on the duel itself - he had never planned of the outcome. Yugi was overwhelmed with sadness as I sighed. He was struggling not to break down in sobs, fall to his knees, shaking uncontrollably - knowing I was to leave.

As if our mind link was still intact, I closed my eyes and sighed. _It is all right, Yugi. Proceed._

"All right! Silent Magician, attack his life points directly!" Yugi bellowed as he gazed up at me, our eyes locking together; my emotions so visible in his own eyes as he let tears pass.

The Silent Magician rose, his staff aimed for me, poised to attack me directly.

And then, with a burst of light, I felt the heat and shock waves from his attack sending me backwards. All protected their eyes from the blinding light as I protected myself from it as well. For the first time since we had been separated, it struck me that I had my own body, my own will to move. No longer was I a part of Yugi. He had released me far long ago. As I fell back, I caught Yugi's gazing at me, still with eyes full of unshed tears, not bothering to shield from the light. He was far to busy to care about that. He was still trying to find a grasp on reality.

But then he closed them, the tears falling.

All stared at me as the light faded away. The wind receding with it. The fact of Yugi's victory was finally setting in. I closed my eyes as I straightened up, gazing at Yugi once more. Realizing this was the end.

And my life point fell to zero.

My fate was sealed.

The monsters faded away in a rainbow of lights.

And Yugi fell to the ground.

He was sobbing, so desperate for some form of falsity to the truth.

He knew this was the end, but a new beginning awaited him.

The tears hit the ground, one by one. Two by two. I sighed and began to amble aimlessly to my Light as he let out a small whimper. I paused a few yards in front of him; he made no move as if to show his notice to my presence.

"Congratulations," I stated calmly with a small smile as I cocked my head to the side, fighting the urge to fall down next to Yugi in tears. "Well done."

Yugi did not respond, only let those tears fall faster.

I finally knelt next to Yugi and placed and hand tenderly on his shoulder. "Yugi, a champion does not belong on his feet. You achieved a great victory for us both."

"I... was focusing so hard on playing the game... that I forgot... what winning this duel would actually mean," Yugi stammered through all those cascading tears. "By defeating you, I have sent you away for good."

"No, Yugi," I countered in a calm voice, fighting my own tears. "You have opened the doors for me. Thanks to you, my spirit can finally be at rest once again. I will be back where I belong. Fate brought the two of us together for a reason. And we have fulfilled our destiny."

With that said, Yugi gazed at me with shining eyes and falling tears, mouth hung open agape at my truthful words. And I placed two hands on both of his two shoulders and aided him in standing up tall.

"We protected man kind from the return of the shadow games. And we have both grown tremendously a long the way," I stated with a kind smile.

"I am going to miss you," Yugi claimed.

"You do realize we will never truly be apart, do you?" I retorted with a smile.

Yugi gazed up at me with a shocked expression.

"The gift of kindness you have given me and the courage I have given you will remain with us. And that will forever bind us together."

Yugi narrowed his violet eyes and nodded in agreement. "Right."

And then another burst of light erupted from the golden eye.

It was time.

Ishizu explained the next step for everyone in the room as I approached the Door to the Spirit Realm. And then I watched the Door open. And then Joey and the rest stopped me. And then I helped them realize what all was fate. And then Yugi gave the go ahead. The go ahead to leave them. And so I took the first step into the light.

But all I could think of was Yugi. I was leaving my Light. So much time had passed since he first solved the Millennium Puzzle and released my spirit, four years if I was to be correct? Four years of slaying the Shadow Magic. Four years of being a selfless spirit in hopes of showing Yugi how thankful I was to him for allowing me to share his body with him. Four years of pain and suffering and not allowing Yugi nor his friends to live a normal life. Because of me, no one I ever knew here in the modern day had lived a life they deserved to live. Because of me, Yugi gained friends. Because of me, everyone's lives had been affected for the best.

Step two.

Glancing back to the people that stood behind me – my friends – I felt the tears I had been holding back break through. But I quickly stopped the unshed tears from falling.

Step three.

And as I gazed back on them, the strings that held me to them snapped.

Marik stood quietly in the shadows with Ishizu and Odion. _Snap._

Solomon Moto and Duke Devilin and Bakura stood, staring at my figure; I suddenly felt very self conscious – something I never felt. _Snap._

Joey and Tristan closed their eyes in sadness, accepting what was fate. _Snap._

Tea placed her hand over the cartouche, the one with my name imprinted on it. _Snap._

Step four.

Yugi Moto.

If I remember the exact moment I saw him, it made me wallow in self guilt. I never saw him as much. All I saw was the shy and short teenager. But what I did notice right away was the pure of heart adolescent beneath the surface. But the first thought I had of him was that he could be easily overpowered. But then I saw what he did not want me to see. The fear of being your own. My little hikari, my light, my aibou, my Yugi.

_I would do anything to protect you. Anything. Yet when I think back to when I hurt your confidence in me, my heart begins to ache._

_Snap._

Taking a deep breath, I prepared to take the fifth step that would separate them from me forever.

Step five.

"I hate to break the terrible news to you, Pharaoh, but you are not going anywhere. Because everything you have given me will stay right here in our hearts!" Joe called out, halting me in misstep.

Whirling to face my friends, my amethyst eyes wide in emotion, I merely nodded. "Right."

"Like we always say, it's your move!"

And I walked once more, thumbs up as the good bye sign to my friends.

I felt the modern world leave me as a strange wind blew my jacket, Yugi's school uniform coat, behind me. I felt it transform into my Pharaoh's cloak with the color of a midnight blue. As it settled back onto my back, the rest of my clothing from the modern day I knew that I inherited from Yugi changed into my royal, ancient Egyptian garbs. In the pure light, I saw the people of my past.

There had to be some form of comfort to come to me as I gazed forward into that blinding light, the Spirit Realm - the After Life - my Eternal Resting Place. I mean, I had survived the past four years of my life with flying colors; overpowering all of the hardships and times of suffering that had been bestowed upon me. But my mind was frozen in time. This was it – I was never going to see them again.

Never to see my friends of the modern world.

And I finally let the tears fall as I entered the Soul Resting Place.

No longer needed to be stronger for everyone I had once learned.

The doors closed behind me and the first thing that happened was my father embracing me in a hug.

And I did the only thing I could possibly do at the current moment, even though the action diminished all hopes I had, I still had to do it. I gazed back from where I whence came in hopes of finding my friends smiling back.

All I saw was a floating image in the blinding lights. And all it contained was an image of the crumbled remains of the tomb I had once been in. When I said my last goodbyes.

And then the words floated to me, what I desperately needed at the given moment.

_You will be forever in my heart, Pharaoh Atem. Goodbye. Thank you, for everything._

And I could think of only two things: one, they were gone and they said they would always be there. And this: Yugi had managed to reestablish our mind link for one last time.

* * *

Five years passed. Time moved on. And the journey? The story?

This tale was never about a Great Pharaoh. Everyone has his or her own story. That is, the story we complete in the light. And my story is just beginning. My name is Yugi Moto. I am twenty-one years old now. I had been dating Tea for the past five years – and we just recently married a year ago- and we just graduated from college. I know, it seems unreal, correct? We spent all that time battling fate and destiny. And now we had a new and simple and normal life. So carefree as well. I do not know what happened, after Atem left, we all thought it was the end of life. But we were all so blind.

We all watched as Atem left us all forever. I relive my memory of how we all thought the world as we knew it would end. We were so young back then, but our countless battles had aged us not only emotionally but even mentally. Though, when we thought life had ended when he left, we were just so very naive. We finished college four years later; we all have families_._ Because of what happened merely five years before, I have a wife. I have friends named Joey, and Tristan. Joey is happily married and Mai and he are expecting a child in five months. And Tristan and Serenity married two months ago. Last I heard, they were expecting twins. And me and Tea? We are expecting a daughter in six months. And there is a future after all.

But to this day. I will never forget the look on your face when you turned back and only saw the crumbled remains of the tomb. Thank God for Ra that he reestablished the mind link for one time before we lost one another for ever.

And I will never forget the last words you unintentionally gave to me.

_They said they would always be there._

But you know what, Pharaoh? I will always be there. Just never physically next to you again. But it is times like this that your physical presence still lingers on this plane. I do not know you learned whilst away from what you grew to know. But I awoke one day with Tea at my side. Still sitting, I pulled the sheets around me and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath. Your scent was there - and then it was gone. The envelope of warmth vanished. You weren't there anymore. And I wasn't sad. I do not know how you did so – but you were here.

In spirit.

I still remember though, the strongest memory of forever, was when, the moment I blinked as the spirit entered his Eternal Resting Place – he was no longer Yami Yugi.

But Pharaoh Atem.

And that is for the best. back.


End file.
